Thursday, January 26, 2012


It's week two of the semester and I am just now poking my head out to see that the world still exists. It's also week two of E going to day care. I like our day care a lot and all, but's so hard for me to be sending a tiny little four month old baby there three days a week. She's really fine. It's just me. I wish I was at home snuggling with her.

So I'm feeling completely slammed. My days are a long list of things to do: wash bottles, organize W's lunches and make sure he's getting enough fruits and vegetables, wash my work clothes and organize my pumping stuff, make my lunches, etc. I remember this feeling from when I went back to work with W--it felt then like I'd never adjust and that I'd always be working through long lists and doing prep work for everything to go off without too many hitches. And then I got used to it. I stopped feeling so slammed and overburdened. It started to feel like a normal routine.

Maybe I'll be there next week. I have so many comments I want to make (I'm going to spend some time at work today catching up on my blog reading...yay!) and there are posts in the hopper that I haven't had time or mental energy to complete. Soon, soon, I hope.

This working full time and parenting two little ones is hard. Heck, parenting in general is hard, who am I kidding? You want to know the hardest thing about being back (and this is a totally vain and selfish concern)? My clothes aren't fitting right and I feel like I have no time to go to the gym or cook really good healthy food (we're living on boxed foods that I'm adding veggies to and trying to jazz up--so not adequate--and I know I'm making a futile excuse to myself about time and energy). I feel like I'm sausaging myself into my pants today and my sweater is clinging in all the wrong places. Meh. It's hard to feel comfortable back at work and in front of a classroom when my body feels so uncomfortable.

All else is well. E is making raspberry sounds like crazy (so soon!) and she's reverse cycling, or eating all night to compensate for not eating much at day care. That should right itself soon enough, I hope. W is fine, too, but sleep remains a challenge. He's been back in our bed for two nights in a row now and he's looking so tired during the day, too.

I feel like I'm doing nothing well because I simply have too much to do.

This will pass. I will get used to the schedule and routine. I will find time to work out some of these kinks. My clothes will fit again (dammit!). How are things in your world? *Yawn*

1 comment:

  1. Oh, the transition back to work. So hard, physically & emotionally.
    I totally feel you on the clothes not fitting right thing. Yet no time or energy to work out, and SO SO hungry (must be the breastfeeding?) all the damn time.
    And the sleep (or lack thereof) oh my goodness. Thankfully it's just L keeping me up, but he's up SO MUCH---not hungry, just fretful and unable to fall asleep.
    I like your perspective. It'll all smooth out. I keep telling myself "this is but a blip in time". It doesn't help me clear my fuzzy sleep-deprived head, but it helps my heart a little :)