Sunday, December 11, 2011

homemaking, or the lack thereof

I suck at it. Seriously. We went to visit a couple who has a big beautiful house and four children and I was struck by how beautifully they had decorated their house for the holidays. The kids were all working on art projects to continue the decoration. And the mother was in the midst of cooking multiple dishes (some for us and others for the week to come). The parents do it all without help--they both work full time, they have no cleaning or child care help (all the kids are school age), and they're running around with more obligations than we have. But it was lovely. They even had bought presents for W's birthday and for the holidays for both our kids.

Sigh. We came home after this visit to our completely undecorated house in which I was planning on offering boxed mac and cheese to W and entertaining him by watching some crappy kids show on Spr.out.

I wish I had an artistic sensibility. Or was a better cleaner. People DO say that our house is warm and inviting, but I sometimes think that's just because I light candles and occasionally make brownies (from a box) for guests. In reality, we sometimes are just struggling to get through the days. Who has time for beauty and decorating and art?

Maybe this post should be sponsored by my MIL, who is coming over today for a little birthday party we're throwing for W (with a store-bought cake, no less). She constantly digs at me about my homemaking skills. I'd love to ban her from my life, but I suppose that's not an option, is it?

Off to get a store-bought wreath or something for our front door....


  1. Oh dear. That woman? She's my mother - 4 kids, work, an amazing, decorated, tasteful home, etc. And me? 1 kid, small, shabby apt., not a single hoiday decoration (unless you count the ribbon from the panettone box?).
    Besides being an aptitude problem, which it is, I also have a hard time because I never WANTED to be a good homemaker. I know how you feel and it sounds like we could both make a bit more effort but still we can only really be ourselves.

  2. We have children with birthdays close to one another!! Happy birthday to W!! I am ridiculously hard on myself in this regard -- I try frantically to be one of those women and am so not -- and in fact G and I had a fight recently about it -- I just can't seem to muster the organizational skills to get it done -- and it used to be that, like Slowmamma, I was fine with it -- but as I've steadily evolved into more of a SAHM than a writer or anything else I find that I am so much more invested in it...when all that matters, I try to tell myself, is that the kids are happy -- right? Happy, safe, secure -- loved...all of that.

    But I so get it. I do.

  3. Yeah, those parents have some kind of secret you don't know about. Maybe they only need four hours of sleep. Maybe they drink a lot of coffee.

    My MIL is already trying to take over all the cooking for the holiday dinner I'm hosting: implication, my cooking is going to suck. Always with the vote of confidence.

  4. I have friends like that, too, and walk away with a mix of awe and jealousy! It's not that I suck at homemaking, though, I just am not willing to put in the effort. When I get home from work, I just want to play with my daughter and after she goes to bed, drink wine and veg out (in my messy house). I'm ok with that most of the time, though sometimes the messiness irritates me (at which point I must laugh at myself since it's totally my fault!). Oh well :)
    I'm sure your house IS homey and kids like boxed mac and cheese better than anything else anyway!
    Made it over from esperanza's blog. My blog is pretty sunshine and roses even though my life isn't that simple. I think a lot of what people blog about depends on their audience. It's annoying to me when people blog obviously to get numbers. I blog NOT for myself but for family who live far away, so my content has to be somewhat censored as a result.

    ANYWAY happy birthday to your little one!